Millyellen: I’m pondering the word “unity” and what scripture expresses about it. Two different passages from the author Paul I have specifically been drawn to are:
“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.”
Philippians 2:1-2 NIV (underlining is mine)
If any is stated 4 times…that’s quite the emphasis. What’s at the heart of it? Paul is pleading with the church of Philippi to be like-minded, having the same love and being one in spirit and mind. Of course each and every Christ-follower has found encouragement from being united with Him, found comfort from His love, shared in the oneness of the Holy Spirit, and found tenderness and compassion! So it is a direct call for the church to unify.
Like-minded. What exactly does this mean? One thought is maybe it is being around people who think like me! It’s cozy with my group of people. I feel cocooned with all energy growing until bursting and soon we feel like we can do anything with passion, common goals and unity. So we stretch our wings and fly together. But is that what like-minded means?
“with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3 NRSV
Bearing with one another in love lets us know that the church in Ephesus, to whom this letter was written, was having some difficulty getting to unity or like-mindedness. I think the church in the USA is struggling with this as well. In our home, in our city, in our state, in His Church, and in our nation, how different would our conversations be with this verse in the forefront of Christians’ minds? How often is this verse in the forefront of my mind? This verse challenges me personally. Before I open my mouth or am quick to anger, am I clothing my spirit, mind, and heart with humility and gentleness, with patience?
Another option for insight into like-mindedness is not that we have to think alike on politics or culture for that matter, but to be unified in the bond of peace. Peace= right relationship. We must seek to be in right relationship with each other because of the bond we share. I really love hearing other peoples’ life experiences, perspectives and reasons for thinking, feeling, and behaving the way they do. Granted, it can be uncomfortable when a conflict arises in relationship. But it is worth-while to sit (or perhaps “maintain the unity of the Spirit”) in a difficult conversation and be challenged. Then if the other person/people are “like-minded” to maintain unity, they will sit and listen to me so I am heard and understood. So while I do like my cozy group where we are easily unified about theology, politics and culture, the kingdom of God shines when humility and gentleness, with patience is exhibited. Because of the sacrificial undeserving love of Christ, we utilize humility and gentleness, with patience to listen, to understand, to stretch and to be challenged when we don’t agree.
So practically speaking let’s start with immediate family and work our way out. 2020 has been thus far a year of strife on many levels and a year of ease in others. In our household, not even Drew and I agree all the time. We’ve had heated conversations about politics, cultural issues, to mask or not to mask, how to start a church before Covid-19 and how to during the pandemic. And then there are conversations with our two teenage wonderful gifts from God. Lord help us, because “tenderness and compassion” as well as “humility and gentleness, with patience” aren’t always at the forefront of our conversations.
Drew: I was working in the office till mid-March and then suddenly I was thrust into the family system 24-7. Not only that, we couldn’t leave. All the hiking areas and beaches were closed…for months! Our house (950 sq. ft.) suddenly felt a LOT smaller. And all those little differences seemed to grow a bit in that space and time. However, Millyellen did this wonderful thing where she began communicating more, and more specifically, about what she did and didn’t want me engaging during the day. I was working, sure, but I was also 8 feet away from them during their school day. And, funny thing, most kids struggle with their teachers…the thing is, in our home, their teacher is also their mother who loves them and wants a strong healthy relationship with them with laughter and joy and growth. And they had their ways of working through difference. Me being home did not necessarily make any of that easier. I needed to learn what was actually helpful to my wife, the teacher, in that new space and family system change. I praise God that my wife had grace for me in that time of learning new patterns and ways of us living well in the same space.
Millyellen: Consideration of the other. Including Drew into our daytime routine was reexamining consideration of the other. I don’t think I can dwell on that enough….consideration of the other. In my marriage. In my relationship with each teenager. What is the one full of angst truly saying? And what is the silent one saying without words? During many heated cultural and political conversations, one of the phrases I hear myself say frequently to our children and to myself at times…. ‘Do not allow an issue, a president nor any politics to divide relationship you have with Christ followers.’ In our home, let there not be division. In our extended biological family, let us be like-minded. In our larger church family, let us bear with one another in love – especially when we don’t agree.
Friends, what a doozy of a year for divisiveness. And unfortunately, we’ve needed to be distanced from one another physically other than our immediate family because of Covid-19, which means we haven’t been near one another for personal conversations nor rubbed opinions together. It has become a time for social media to be our primary interaction with others, and might I say, it hasn’t been the best. Opinions get posted and reposted, tweeted and shared in ways we wouldn’t if we were in the same room with one another. Consideration of the other. Generosity of spirit. When someone says, shares, is silent etc., do I disdain that loved one or do I make room in my spirit to try and understand his/her position? Am I first remembering the love of Christ in me and the other person (like-mindedness) with my fellow Christ follower bearing with the other making every effort to maintain the bond of peace through the Spirit? We can be united yet hold different convictions, opinions, and passions.
As Anabaptists and more specifically as a family of Brethren in Christ (BIC), we value peace. Right relationship. Having and extending the love of Jesus Christ.
Drew: And right relationships require truth and grace. Commitment to unity while acknowledging that differences remain. Encouraging the thriving of every life necessarily means I don’t do every thing that I might want to do at every moment. The thriving of every life requires sacrifice and blessing. Something that God taught me some time ago – and that I continue to learn and relearn – is that just because I think something, doesn’t mean I need to express it. Just because I am convinced something is true doesn’t mean I need to preach it. Millyellen made the point a moment ago that in this time of physical distance, social challenges have grown. I recently heard another reference to contact theory – it is through contact with people not like me that I realize their humanity and with more opportunities of contact, greater understanding and friendship is possible. In Northern Ireland peace was attained, in part due to the informal and friendly contacts people of opposing groups had with each other. While there, I was able to serve an internship with Derry Reconciliation Group whose goal was to bring together members of opposing groups for dialogue and friendship.
In contrast to the algorithms of social media that reinforce our perspectives by adding similar and more inflammatory posts in the same vein to our feed, and contrary to the hate speech spewed by some political leaders, we MUST remain open to the other. In Galatians 3, Paul teaches us there is no longer Jew nor Greek, male nor female, slave nor free. And in Ephesians 4, we are unified as family since “There is one God and Father of all.” That means every person is a sibling. Every Person! In order for every life to be valued we need to make sure that those who have been marginalized and abused receive the needed safety and opportunity to thrive. As a wise elder said the other day, “Injustice” plus time does not equal “Justice”!
Millyellen: In our family, we declare that Black Lives Matter. Of course all lives matter. But for too long, we as white Christians haven’t exclaimed that black lives matter and Latino lives matter and “other” whoever “other” is - matter. Our family has been to two BLM protests this spring. Both in Salem, both peaceful. Was there passion and some anger present, yes. But rightly so as both spoken words and moments of silence were embraced. Jesus was upset by injustice in His time as well.
Conversations around words such as race, anti-racism, conservative, and liberal are discussed daily in our house. Is it exhausting? Yes. But it’s worth it. And we acknowledge that it is our luxury or privilege that we get to sit around our meal table and discuss such words & meanings. Our white family doesn’t have a first-hand account of the struggle we read of and are trying to understand and be an ally to. Again, consideration of the other.
Necessity of breath. As I think about 2020 thus far, this is how I can summarize it. Talk about a unifying concept. Breathing. The air we all need. God gave humans the “breath of life” as recorded in the book of Genesis. A phrase that people across all ethnicities & political spectrums have used is “I can’t breathe”. The phrase is uttered when a black man gasps for breath when his air supply is cut off from a police officer. “I can’t breathe” is uttered by someone struggling with COVID-19 in his/her lungs. And “I can’t breathe” is uttered as a response to wearing a mask over the nostrils and mouth. This phrase that is dividing us in three distinct instances, ironically is uniting us. I hear this phrase spoken or see it written often these days. Breath. Vital to our existence. How can we as Christ followers listen to this statement, “I can’t breathe” with tenderness and compassion, humility and gentleness, with patience no matter who is saying it in the context they are saying it. Let’s gather in unity due to the Holy Spirit to bear with one another to be in right relationship. These conversations are difficult with my spouse. They are difficult in our family of 4. These conversations are difficult with extended family, our church and our friend family. But these conversations are worth having.
Let’s continue to not just be civil when we discuss masks or race or convictions heading into this election year. Those of us who are encouraged from being united with Christ, are comforted from His love, share commonality in the Spirit, and have tenderness and compassion, let us “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” These conversations are as vital as the air we breathe. My spirit is not against those in my household nor Church. In prayer and in loud declaration of truth in song, my fight is against the evil plot to bring division in our home and in His Church. When even family doesn’t agree, let’s agree to pray in like-mindedness of mind and spirit against Satan and his divisive ways. When I feel disheartened by a fellow Christ-follower’s opinion that is so different than my own, I am encouraged that we are joined together by Jesus Christ’s deep love for each of us, and if we can cling to that, we will be able to share conflicting ideas, convictions, issues, and even politics. I believe in praying “on earth as it is in heaven”. I believe that others will know us as Jesus’s disciples by our love (John 15:35).
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